In providing domestic abuse counseling to couples in abusive relationships, I have noticed a subtle yet significant communication pattern that alerts me to the underlying dynamics moment-to-moment. I call it "talking at" vs. "talking with" your partner.
Talking At You
Drill Doctor
"Talking at" you is what people do when their words are working for them to do the job of their fists. It's almost as though their words are swords and they seek to jab you into listening, behaving and being what they perceive you not to be.
What you feel while on the receiving end of this listening is much like a puppy being called to the carpet. You know the drill of how he simply has to get it out. He needs you to "cooperatively" receive his person/character assault.
You may go along with it because you see no other options. And all you really want is to get to the other side of being "talked at."
Talking With You
"Talking with" is more fun. It's warm, inviting and friendly. The words and the delivery lure you into communion with your partner. And the magic of "us" becomes palpable.
Listening is easy and understanding is effortless. You feel present in the conversation and are aware that you, indeed, count. Your value is not in question, and what you and your partner want from each other is up for the giving.
Why "Talk At" Rather than "Talk With"
Verbal abusers carelessly slip into the "talking at" mode with their spouses often when they themselves are feeling vulnerable and insecure.
It's a clear barometer for me in domestic abuse counseling that the precursor for verbal emotional abuse is in play. My sensitivity to it opens the door for facilitating the abuser's awareness of his/her interpersonal and intrapersonal needs, wants and beliefs.
Why "Talk With" Rather than "Talk At"
We "talk with" people that we seek to bond with; not control. We talk with people as a way of being with them. We know our talking with engages collaboration, cooperation and communion.
It carries a higher level of energy around the interaction. You can feel the uplifting experience of interpersonal communication wherein people talk with one another.
Changing Interaction Through Domestic Abuse Counseling
Acknowledging this subtle distinction opens doors for significant transformation in the way couples interact with one another. It's so simple, yet so profound. It has the potential to serve as a highway into the operative psychological dynamics of battering behavior characteristic of abusive relationships.
Both abusers and abused appreciate the insights they individually and jointly gain through identifying this "talking at" vs. "talking with" interaction pattern. And as an added benefit, they grow to cooperatively work on improving their communication and their relationship.
Christmas Sales Heavy Duty Drill Bit Sharpener with Dual Head Electric 201
Dec 16, 2011 09:22:30
Click for larger image and other views
Christmas Sales Heavy Duty Drill Bit Sharpener with Dual Head Electric Feature
- Portable drill bit sharpener, extend the life of expensive drill bits!
- Dual-head shaprener handles bits from 1/8" to 5/8"
- 1400-1700 RPM heads quickly restore bit cutting power
- High impact plastic housing, thermally protected
- Includes two replacement sharpening wheels
Christmas Sales Heavy Duty Drill Bit Sharpener with Dual Head Electric Overview
With this protable drill bit sharpener, you can extend the life of your high-quality drill bits. Dual sharpener heads at 1720 RPM and 1420 RPM quickly and easily bring your bits back to like-new sharpness. Rugged high-impact polymer housing, thermally protected for long service. Get extended life from your high-quality drill bits with this dual-head sharpener. 1720 RPM and 1420 RPM heads quickly and easily bring your bits back to like-new sharpness. High impact plastic housing, thermally protected. Head sizes: 1/8" - 3/8" (3.5mm - 10mm) and 5/16" - 5/8" (8mm - 16mm)SAVE NOW on Christmas Sales Offers below!
Available In Stock. |
| This Christmas Heavy Duty Drill Bit Sharpener with Dual Head Electric ships for FREE with Super Saver Shipping. |
Price : Click to Check Update Prices Please. |
